Wednesday, 31 October 2012

A lazy day

I have lots of thoughts going round my head at the moment, and was going to tell you them, but i have decided that I have some vital napping to do today....

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Reasons to be thankful

Humans seem to like having cats and/or dogs as pets. Some humans love cats, some love dogs (strange), some love both. Obviously I know which animal is best.

Some dogs can be ok; mainly for sleeping on, as they're warm, or for winding up.
However, I am thankful, every day, that I am a cat and not a dog, and here's why;

When dogs get wet they smell; cats don't.

Cats can bathe themselves. Dogs have to be given a bath by humans.

 Dogs are too silly to go out for a walk on their own; humans have to take them. Cats can go out when they want.

 Cats only ever eat things considered to be food. Dogs eat food, stones, socks remote controls...

Doggy-slobber is messier than catty-dribble.


Cat's claws are retractable, a much better design than dog's, which aren't.

Doggy-breath smells much worse than catty-breath.

Cats know not to have sex with random objects or human legs.

Cats realise the futility of playing 'fetch' and watch on in amusement when dogs do this.

Cats have flaps dedicated to them. Dogs don't.

Cats have the decency to bury their poo. Dogs, shamelessly poo anywhere, and leave it for humans to pick up.

Cats can gracefully leap onto high things. Dogs try, but fail.

Dogs chase their own tails. Cats are smart enough to realise that their tail is part of their body.

Dogs get bum-ache from wagging their tail when they're happy/excited. Cats use their tails to balance and to show that they are in pounce-mode.

In my opinion, cats are cuter than dogs.

I think there are more possibly reasons than this, so if any humans or cats want to add to this list, please let me know.


Monday, 29 October 2012

Sleepy Bruce

Still no word back from Fluffles. I'm not getting her another present, so she'll just have to accept that or not speak to me again.

Anyway, as I've said, as it gets colder I've been sleeping more and more.
One thing I don't understand though, is why humans only seem to sleep once it's dark.
Why don't humans sleep during the day too? This is prime napping time!

It's very inconvenient that humans sleep so heavily when it's dark. Sometimes I want attention at night and have to sit on daddy's chest or head, and miaow for a long time, before I get attention. Sometimes I even have to dribble on him.

Humans only seem to sleep in one place too; my main bed. Why would any creature do this, when there are so many options?

Why don't humans sleep more on sofas, windowsills (great for spotting birds as you wake), by radiators, on top of cupboards, on computers?
I think humans would enjoy napping a lot more if they tried these different places.

There is one thing, in particular, that has always confused me about where daddy sleeps. There always seem to be mice under the covers, which I pounce on, but I never catch one.
When daddy lifts up these covers, I can only ever see his lower paws.
I wonder where these mice disappear to?

Saturday, 27 October 2012

The perfect present

That sparkly, cold stuff was all over the grass when I went out earlier. It was a bit chilly on my paws at first, but they soon warmed up.

It's quite interesting, the sparkly stuff, so I sniffed it for a bit. That's when I noticed something I haven't seen for a while; a Starling.
It was foraging for worms I think, as it had it's tail towards me and it's beak in the ground.
This gave me enough time to get behind a big plant pot.

I watched it hop about for a bit, looking for all sorts of goodies in the grass. I thought it was teasing me at first, like the Magpies, as it took so long to get near the plant pot. I started to get bored, and lay down for a bit to clean my paws.
Then my little catty-ears twitched as I heard it getting nearer. I looked over and it was very close. I sat up, slowly, swished my tail, then got ready for the pounce.
It was getting so close... I started my pre-pounce bum wiggles, to wind up my hind legs in readiness, then ran out, leaped, and pounced! I got it first time, under both paws!
I had a bit of fun with it first, then decided that this should be my 'sorry' present for Fluffles.
I managed to keep the head on this one, luckily, so was happy with my gift.
She wasn't around in her garden, so I left it near her catflap and rubbed my head on it, so she'd know it was from me.

Hopefully she'll see it and at least come and visit me. Then we can do catty nose-rubs and all will be well with the world again.

In the mean time I'm going to an old human, a few gardens away, for a belly-rub and some food :)


Thursday, 25 October 2012

This time of year...

As I have been alive many catty-years now, I have seen the same things happen, at certain times of year, about three times.
I have always wondered about these things though, particularly the things that are happening right now.

I want to know why the leaves suddenly turn all different, bright colours when they have been green for so long? Why do they then start falling from the trees? I have spent many catty-hours staring up at these trees, waiting for leaves to fall so that I can pounce on them.
There are other things that fall from trees too; things that spin round and round. What are these?

Why does the air suddenly seem cleaner, and filled with more scents, when I sniff it?
I can smell smoke at this time of year, far more than at any other time, but can't think of a reason for this.

Why is the grass often sparkly in the morning? This doesn't happen as much at other times of year.

I become much more sleepy around this time too, and take far more naps. I don't mind this as I'm cosy when I'm napping and I look cute, so I get more attention. I still don't know why I nap more though?
Also, my favourite prey disappear; mice, squirrels, frogs, even bees and wasps. I don't understand, if I can just nap more why can't they? 

And humans, can you not grow fur properly? Daddy seems to put more and more warm, fluffy things round him, to go outside. I don't understand. Humans must have been designed very badly.

Oh, one more thing; why do humans have things that look frightening and fiery, and that make loud bangs and whistles? I really don't like these them. They make me want to stay inside, and they make my little catty-ears go flat against my head :( 

*What are these spinning things?


Wednesday, 24 October 2012

It's war!

I'm having trouble at the moment, with two very cheeky birds in my territory. Two Magpies to be exact.
Every day, usually around the same time, they land in my garden or one to the left.

If I'm in my garden, when I see them land, there is a little wall I can hide behind. If they are next door, there are some big plant pots I can crouch next to. Luckily the plant pots are dark brown so my fur doesn't show too much.
I think these Magpies are in a birdy-relationship. They only ever move -forwards, backwards, or upwards- together.

The problem is, I think they're teasing me. When I'm hiding, they hop towards me, looking around with their beady eyes. They get closer and closer, right to the point where I start to do a pre-pounce catty bum-wiggle. Then, just as I'm leaning forward, for maximum pounce-speed, they hop away again. It's very frustrating.
They will do this quite a few times, before flying up to a high tree branch.

I think I may set a trap for them. I will wait in my usual place, and they can hop back and forth, but opposite will be Lulu (as she's very quick). When they hop away from me, thinking that they are teasing me, Lulu will surprise them from the other side.

I shall have to speak to Lulu about this. I'll have to tell her that I want to take the head home, to give to daddy.

In the mean time, Frederic has given me some advice about Fluffles. He said that I need to 'woo' her. I'm not sure what this means. I think it might be catty-French?

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Any ideas?

It's been a very strange past few days. Daddy disappeared for quite a bit, which confused me. I miaowed, as I missed him, but still got fed and slept lots.

There's also been a strange human in the house, who I didn't know. It's a female human, and they're normally okay, but I wasn't sure at first. I had lots of careful catty-sniffs of her hand, before I went with catty leg-rubs. She patted my head, so I think she's alright. She hasn't given me any food yet though :-(

Anyway, amongst all this I've been a bit down about the whole Fluffles argument. I do like her. We can't have kittens together, as I have no balls, but I still like spending time with her.
As a male cat, it will always be down to me to apologise, but I need some help...

I'm wondering what the best 'sorry' gift is, to get for Fluffles?
I've brought her a Robin before, so that's not original, and there's very few frogs or mice around now.
I'm just not sure what to get.... do any cats (who can read this) or humans have an idea on what to get as a present?



Saturday, 20 October 2012

Catty lover's tiff

Despite recalling a happy memory yesterday, I am a sad cat today. I had a catty-argument with Fluffles :(

She doesn't think we've been seeing enough of each other recently, which is true. However, she is very picky about which cats she is seen with, and doesn't like many of my catty-friends.

I was surprised that she got angry with me as I took her one of the last autumn mice, as a present, which was really hard to find.
She wouldn't rub noses and swished her tail in my face. I asked what was wrong and she said that I should 'already know what's wrong'.
I didn't understand, so I told her this.
She told me that I'd been spending too much time with Tinkerbell, Lulu, and Frederic.
I  told her that I have to see my catty-friends and it's difficult as she doesn't like many of them. I haven't seen Frederic that much anyway, as it's been very rainy recently and he 'doesn't do rain'.
Then she got really angry and said that I don't take care of myself as much as when we first met. She said I don't always groom myself fully, and sometimes I arrive with grass seeds still stuck in my fur.
She has lots of fur and says that she always manages to groom it, and if she can then I can.
I responded by questioning whether it was all just fluff that makes her look bigger at the moment.
I shouldn't have said this. She was furious and gave me a catty paw-swat on the ear, before hissing and walking away.
I had to leave, as she clearly didn't want to talk any more.

I'm very sad now, and have decided to curl up next to daddy for a bit, indoors. I hope I can make up with Fluffles. I'll have to think how though.....

Friday, 19 October 2012

A Good day

It's been a long old day today. I have had some fun trying to swat bits of water running down the windows, until I realised that the reason I was missing is because the water is outside.
Daddy also gave me a box to hide in, so I had fun jumping in and out of it, until I fell asleep.

Having had a long day indoors though, I've had plenty of time to think.
I remember, many catty-years ago, I had a mummy and a very different daddy from now.
I was in a house with a few rooms, but it was very high up (I looked out of the windows once), so I couldn't go outside. This didn't bother me then, as I had no idea how much fun the outdoors was.
There was another cat in this house with me. He had all-white fur, was very fluffy, and was a bit older than me. I think he may have had a few problems hearing. Because of this, and because I was only a kitten having fun, I used to sneak up and pounce on him. I didn't really get my claws out, but it made the other cat run like mad. I found it quite funny. Sometimes my mummy and daddy (at the time) used to shout at me.
Then, one day, i was put in one of those strange catty-boxes that humans carry us in. This one had metal bars that you could see through. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to the white cat, or my home, before my mummy and daddy had taken me away from there.
I was very confused and I think I might have cried a bit as they put me in the vroom, in the catty-box, and took me somewhere strange.
They took  me to a place with lots of other cats, all in small rooms of their own, then left me there. I never saw them again. There were some very nice humans at this place, who gave me food and water, but I didn't understand why my mummy and daddy had left me there. I cried on my first night and found it very hard to sleep.

The next day, though, I made some catty-friends through the bars on either side of my little room. I cried less and less (but still didn't understand why my mummy and daddy had gone), and became more chatty, miaowing away. The humans at this place seemed to like that, and popped in to give me regular head-pats, scratches behind the ear, and belly rubs :)

Other humans kept coming into this place, looking at cats, going into their rooms, then leaving with one of them. These humans seemed to like cats, and I think they were taking them away to be their new mummy and daddy.
My friends, either side of me, went and new catty-friends arrived. I wanted a new mummy and daddy too though.

I tried my best to look cute, puff out my chest fur, miaow lots, and rub up against the door to my room... but no-one ever picked me :(
The humans there were still very kind to me, but I wanted a proper mummy and daddy.

Then, what seemed like catty-years later, while I was napping, the door to my little room opened. In stepped two humans, a male and a female. They were very nice to me, stroking my head and tickling my chin. They made the sound 'halloooooooo' a lot. I liked them, so I purred loudly and rubbed against their legs.
Then they left and the door was shut again. I was very sad. I thought they didn't like me, and were leaving.
They soon came back in though, with another one of those strange catty-boxes and lots of catty-toys; they were taking me to a new home!
I was so happy that I purred and purred, and let my new mummy pick me up for a cuddle, even though I don't really like being picked up for cuddles.

For once I was pleased to get into a catty-box (this normally means I'm going to the catty-doctor, which I don't like).
I went to my new home and was very happy there, and even discovered the outdoors!
That's why it was 'a good day' when that new mummy and daddy came and took me away.
I was well loved, stroked, fed, and played with. I'm happy they came into my room.

I have moved into another new home, just with my daddy now. I'm a little confused about what happened to mummy, and do miss her, but am still happy.
There are some other humans around too. They are a little strange, and make odd noises at me, but look after me well, and are learning to give good chin tickles.

So,I'm a very happy cat now. I just hope no-one ever takes me and leaves me behind again :(

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

belly-rub hunting

I'm a happy cat!

As it's been sunny, I've been wandering around quite a bit. This means that I end up in lots of different gardens.
In doing this I've noticed that older humans are often around during the day, and seem to respond well to cute cats like me.

Now, as everyone knows, I do love a good belly-rub. So, what I do is either look for open doors (old humans leave them open on sunny days), or I miaow at a window until someone sees me, and opens it.
Once the human is next to me -either by me walking into their house or them coming out to me- I can turn up the cuteness by purring and rubbing against their legs.
This will normally result in several strokes of my head, and behind my ears, at which point I can roll over and get a belly-rub.
In this way I can get several belly-rubs per day and maintain my happy cattiness :)
If I'm super cute, sometimes these humans that I visit give me a bit of chicken or tuna,
then I come home so that daddy can feed me.

It's good being a cat.

*how could anyone resist?

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Disappearing Tree

I had a very strange experience today.

Early this morning I was woken up by a buzzing sound. After a tasty breakfast, of beef in gravy, I decided to go outside to investigate what this sound was.
It got louder and louder once I got outside, and was almost constant. Sometimes it would be at a low pitch, sometimes it would be at really high pitch, which makes my catty-ears flatten against my head.

I tried to see where it was coming from, then spotted a branch falling from a tree three gardens away. Even stranger, there was a human sitting high up in that tree.
What was going on?
There was another high-pitched buzz, and a second branch fell.
This was very odd. Branches -in my catty-exprience- don't just fall from trees, one after the other.

I felt should get a little closer to the tree, to see what was happening, so I jumped three fences to be near it.
As I got into the garden where it stood, the buzzing was incredibly loud, which made me crouch down a bit.

I looked up just in time to see the human swinging a machine and putting it to a branch, which it then started eating! As it kept eating away, the branch became loose then started to fall. It hit the ground and made a thud.
This scared me so much that I ran away, back over 3 fences and home to daddy, so that he could give me some attention and calm my little catty-heart down.

I don't understand though. Why was a human in a tree? What was the strange tree-eating machine in his hand? Why was he making it eat the tree?

Monday, 15 October 2012


I think daddy may be annoyed with me.

I completely forgot that about 20,000 catty-months ago I brought a present in for him, but never actually gave it to him.

I seem to remember bringing it in and trapping under my paws for a bit. I think a fly came into the room and I got distracted, so...
... daddy found it yesterday, as it ran out of a bedroom. I was excited, and pounced on it again!

Then daddy started opening draws and lifting up things and there was mousey-poo and mousey-wee everywhere. Oops!
There were also lots of little mousey-bites out of things; I think it might have been looking to make a little home.

Daddy kept putting his hands over his face and making a sound like 'oh for fuck's sake!'.

I thought I'd make him feel better by rubbing against his legs, but he didn't seem to respond.
I miaowed for some attention but he said 'not now Bruce'.

He put on a machine that sucks up all the mousey-poo. I don't like this machine; it's very loud and makes my little catty-ears go back.
I think he's cleaned up all of the mousey stuff now, but I haven't had much attention since so I think he's upset with me.

I will try to miaow at him, and do more catty leg-rubs, later.
I will also remember to give daddy all mice I bring in, in future.

Friday, 12 October 2012

French Frolics with Frederic

Yippee! The sun is out!

Just popped in as I wanted some attention from daddy, and some biscuits, but have been out all morning with Tinkerbell and Frederic.

He looks very fluffed up today, as his mummy has brushed him. This made Tinkerbell and I laugh, but he just shrugged his catty-shoulders.

We agreed to go for a wander, to show Frederic some sights in our territory. We stopped at our favourite puddle first, for a quick drink. Frederic's face showed catty-disgust, and he decided to clean his paws while we drank.
Then we showed him the best climbing tree, and how far we've all run up it (I've been to the seventh branch). Frederic said he doesn't mind climbing, but it does interfere with the condition of his claws sometimes.

We also showed him the easiest outdoor rooms to get into, if it's raining, including the vroom room with the big pot of blue stuff that I knocked over.
All of the dust in this room made Frederic catty-choo, and a big cloud went up, turning his face grey! It was very funny, but he didn't look amused.

We did happen to see a mouse along the way. There's not many of them about now, and the ones that are, are very slow. Even so, we were very surprised by how quick Frederic got to it, given all of his fluff.
After this we showed him the best area for squirrels. He saw some and said 'mioux miouxx miouxx miouxxxx mioux'.... something about 'grey? but I have chased red ones! What are these dull things?'

After a lot of wandering about we decided to find a nice spot to lay in, in the sun. We'd already shown Frederic the best spots to lie in, where the sun shines the longest, so we chose one of those.

Frederic and Tinkerbell are currently napping in that spot, so I thought I'd come in, as I said, to get some attention, eat biscuits, and tell you about this morning.
Now I'm going back outside...

*confused. Why would anyone paint a squirrel this colour?

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Play cancelled due to rain

It's horrible outside again, and cosy inside. However I  needed to do a little catty-poo, and don't like to do this in the box of gravel daddy leaves out for me.
Because of this I decided to venture outdoors and, mid-poo, remembered that Tinkerbell and I were supposed to be meeting Frederic today.

I had a look around my territory, then Tinkerbell's, but couldn't find her. She is known to nap alot, even for a cat.

I thought it would be rude if we both didn't go to see Frederic, as arranged, so I jumped the fences to get to his garden and went up to his door.

I gave his catflap a nose-nudge. Then another nose-nudge. Then another nose-nudge.
Eventually he popped just his head out and said 'Mioux, Miouxxx Miouxx Mioux Mioux', which means (I think) 'sorry, I don't do rain. Perhaps tomorrow'.
A drop went in his ear and he did a little catty head-shake, then pulled his head back in.

I didn't want to be out in the rain either, so I went back inside.
I couldn't be bothered to sleep and, luckily, I found two woodlice to keep me entertained.
I accidentally ate the first one, so was a bit more careful with the remaining one.
It kept rolling into a little ball, so I batted it about for a bit. Unfortunately I batted it under a sofa and it wouldn't crawl back out again, so I went and had a sleep.

I hope it's not a miserable day tomorrow and we can go and play with Frederic.

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

New Cat on the Block

Big news. There's a new cat in our area! Not just that, he's from France!

Tinkerbell told me all about it. She was a little out of her territory, having got distracted by a squirrel, and bumped into a big fluffy Persian cat.
She was worried at first, as this cat fluffed up it's body and tail in annoyance, and Persians have lots of fur to fluff up. However, when she put her head down, to show she wasn't in fighting mode, the Persian cat relaxed. They had a friendly catty nose-rub, and realised that they would get on.

The Persian cat's name is Frederic. His mummy and daddy have come over from somewhere called Lille, and they are all going to be living near us now.
Frederic brought some French catty-biscuits out to Tinkerbell, to show that they were friends. She said they tasted very meaty, which she was happy with.
She told him she would come back later, maybe with a friend.

So, that's how I ended up going over four fences to meet Frederic, with Tinkerbell.
Frederic and I also shared a catty nose-rub, and decided to be friends.
He started telling us what France was like, and what he'd been like as a kitten. He had a funny accent -mioux, mioux, mioux- but then I guess we had an accent to him too.

Apparently, in France, all cats drink fresh spring water, not the stuff I've seen daddy get from a jug or tap. All cats have to look good in sillhouette too, when the moon is behind them. Also, balancing on the thinnest possible fence, with poise and grace, is seen as an art form. ... I didn't tell him I fell off my fence yesterday, sneaking up on a Sparrow.
Frederic thinks that French cats groom themselves more too, but I'm not so sure about this.

It was just getting interesting, talking to Frederic, when his mummy called him in for food.
We agreed to meet again, tomorrow afternoon. With that, he swished his tail, and was gone.
Tinkerbell thought he moved very quickly for a cat with so much fluff.

After that, Tinkerbell and I watched a Magpie for a bit, then went indoors for a nap.

Monday, 8 October 2012

Hidden Treasure

It's horrible outside, with really fine rain that makes my coat go all silvery.
I was sat on a wall, with my ears flat down and my miserable face on, so I decided to come back in.

The only problem with this is that I seem to have lots of catty-energy today.
I have decided to use this by looking under things, to see what I can find, and chasing imaginary mice.
Chasing imaginary mice confuses daddy, and he often makes a sound like 'why are you charging around the house like a nutter...'. He clearly has no imagination.

Looking under things has also proved lots of fun. So far, I have pawed out three pens, then chased them until I lost them under something else.
I have also found two spiders, both of which were very tasty (they seem to have a richer flavour at this time of year).
In addition, I have found; a long piece of string, a shiny, flat, silver thing, a leaf, and a catty-biscuit (yum!).

It seems like coming inside was the right decision.
I would like some attention now though, so I am going to dribble on daddy.

Sunday, 7 October 2012

The evil tree

Can anyone (cat or human) help with some catty-confusion and concussion please?

Lulu, Pumpkin and I have all been caught out by an evil tree in the last few days.
Every time one of us has been sat near / under it, a spiky green ball has fallen and hit our heads.
This hurts very much and makes us do dazed catty head-shakes. Pumpkin managed to claw one open and it had a weird, solid, brown lump inside of it. She said she bit it, but it didn't taste very nice.

We are worried that these brown lumps might turn into strange creatures though. We also think that the tree is evil and is trying to hurt our heads on purpose.
What have we done wrong to this tree?

While I think about this I am going to go out and chase some leaves.

When I come back, I hope that someone has the answers to our questions...


Saturday, 6 October 2012

The wrong catitude

I'm not a happy catty right now. Very upset with Steve. I don't think I'll be talking to him for quite some time.

We were just having a chat about the new cats coming into our area, when Steve said he didn't like the number of Siamese who had arrived.

I asked him what he meant and he said he didn't like that way they came in, taking all the Sparrows from ordinary hard-chasing Tabbies.
Then he said that all Siamese are the same anyway. He thinks they're sly.

I told him that I really didn't like this view, particularly as I'm part Siamese.
He said 'yeah, but you're alright though'.

I told him what he said was offensive and breedist, but he didn't seem bothered.

I said that I'm not speaking to him until he apologises and changes his catitude,
then wandered off (this was partly as I was hungry too).

Friday, 5 October 2012

A slow day

It's a bit cold and miserable outside so I have decided to spend most of today curled up asleep-ish.
However, I wanted to be able to watch my territory too, so picked the sofa by the window on which to curl up.

In between naps, tail flicks, and occasional stretches, I have seen;

-three Magpies, two of which made me chatter.

-daddy give me a nice scratch behind the ears, and a chin tickle.

-daddy drop lots of things and make the sound 'shit'.

-a squirrel, which made me open my eyes a bit, but nothing more.

-Some rain.

-lots of leaves swirling around, on the floor.

-A shoelace that daddy wanted me to play with.

-A bowl of tuna that daddy was silly enough to leave near me.

....and that's about it.

Think I'll have another nap now....

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

The art of being cute

I'm not one to boast, but... well... I am cute.

This didn't come naturally to me; my first mummy and daddy didn't want me, so took me to a place where they put me in a little room :(
Thankfully there were lots of other cats there, and we made friends through the bars.

I worked on my cuteness and this is how I found a new home.

If you want to stay with your humans, and wind them round your little catty-paws, I recommend following a few simple guidelines to cuteness;

-If you have done something wrong, never admit to it. Simply lower your head and look a bit sad, or give your human(s) multiple catty leg-rubs (don't forget to purr too).

-If your human(s) enter a room where you are sleeping, you can do one of the following;
1. Roll over so that your belly is showing, indicating 'belly rub please'. Be careful not to claw your humans.
2. Cover your eyes with a paw, to say 'sorry, I'm trying to sleep and look cute'.

-When you're human calls you for food, always run towards them and miaow. This looks like you are happy too see them, rather than just showing that you are hungry.

-I know that human-kittens can be strange, but try to get on with them as humans don't seem to like cats that can't do this. If you want to go for super-cuteness, curl up next to human-kittens when they are sleeping.
Humans think this is you showing affection when, really, you are there as the human-kitten is warm.

-As often as possible, even when you are not in hunt mode, try to play along when humans wave string or toys in front of you. They like this.

That's about it, although if any cats have other tips then please let me know.

Good luck being cute.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

40 Catty-winks

I wish daddy wouldn't tickle my little catty-nose when I'm sleeping. It makes my paws twitch.

I was happy that he woke me up earlier though (as I signalled by stretching out my legs), because I was having the weirdest catty-dream;

I was in a garden, but the grass was blue and the sky was green. I was sitting, and when I tried to move I couldn't. I wasn't too worried, so thought I'd clean myself, but every part of fur I licked tasted of fish. Even stranger, different parts tasted of different fish. My paws tasted of tuna, and my bib tasted of salmon.
I could see Lulu and Pumpkin in the distance, but they couldn't hear me when I called them...and their ears were now on their little catty-chins!
Then the grass started tilting heavily left and right. There was sound, like a screaming fox, and all of the leaves in front of me came to life, as mice, running in all directions.
Suddenly I was able to move again, but even quicker than usual. I had super catty-powers!
I was pouncing on mice all over the place, but as soon as I had one in my paws it would slip through and float upwards to the green sky; tail pointing down, head pointing up.
I looked up and there were catty-millions of mice flying upwards, saying 'eeeeeeh!'.
I looked over at Lulu and Pumkin and their eyes had gone purple. They both said 'baaa' then ran off in opposite directions....

this is when daddy woke me up.

I'm very confused. What can this mean?

Monday, 1 October 2012

The 'Big Garden', Continued...

So where was I up to, yesterday, then? Oh yes, so Pumpkin and I crouched down and slid under the hedge, coming out the other side, into the 'big garden'.

It was wonderous and spooky sight. It was indeed the biggest garden either of us had ever been in.
Our tails swished with excitement, and Pumpkin's little catty-nose wiggled as she sniffed the air.
The grass stretched out for catty-miles, and there were big dips and falls in it. There were trees in the middle of the grass too. In one corner was something really strange; an area with a wooden fence all around it, in a sort of square. It wasn't a completely solid fence, it had bars of wood going across, and you could see between them.
We still don't know what it was.

We slowly padded further into the field, sniffing the air carefully as we went.

All of a sudden we heard a noise, over to our left, from behind a tree. We crept towards it, again, low to the ground.
As we got there, two huge, strange animals came into view. These were some of the creatures that had been talked about. They were incredibly tall, with shiny coats, and four long legs, but they didn't have paws. Weirdly, their legs ended in these hard flat things.
Their heads were really long and they had big nose holes. At the bum they did have a tail, but it was nothing like a catty-tail; it was much bigger, and made up of catty-millions of individual hairs. It didn't look like it could go up, either, when they were in food-mode.

As we crept round them, they looked really nervous. We would have given them a catty leg-rub, but they looked like they might tread on us.
We tried to talk to them, but they only huffed, puffed, and snorted back, so we didn't really understand them.

Now that we'd seen one lot of strange creatures, we decided there might be more, so we wandered off.
We saw a huge wooden room, like the one my daddy has at the end of my garden but much bigger. We decided to head towards it.

We were nearly there when, out of the dark, a rabbit shot past us!
Pumpkin started saying something, but I was just thinking 'rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit'.
We chased it. I ran in from the right, Pumpkin ran in from the left, but it was really fast and changed direction suddenly. As it did this, Pumpkin ran into me, and the rabbit got away.
Oh well, it would have been a nice treat, but nevermind.

We kept going, towards the big wooden room, and finally reached it. When we got there, the doors where shut, but there was a gap underneath them that we managed to squeeze through.
When we got inside, it was really dark (and smelt funny), so our eyes had to adjust.
When they did, we saw a bizarre scene around us; catty-millions of white fluffy animals, behind wooden bars.
So, what we'd heard was true. These animals looked exactly like clouds, on legs. Maybe clouds do have legs, and fall to the ground?
They looked so warm, too, just like you could snuggle up next to them and fall asleep (much more fluffy than daddy).
We tried to sniff some of them, and touch noses, but they started moving backwards. They made a very strange noise 'baaa, baaaa'. We didn't understand their language either, just like the long-faced animals. We did try to talk back to them, but the more we did this, the more they kept saying 'baaa, baaaa'.

Suddenly, a light came on and we heard a human voice 'hello, who's there?'
This really scared us, so we ran for our lives. Behind us we heard 'bloody cats'.

We ran so fast that I don't even remember crawling back under the hedge, or any of the journey home.
I do remember giving Pumpkin a quick nose-rub goodbye, then jumping through the window and curling up next to daddy.

Then I slept for catty-hours...

*What is this?