So, there I was, out on the prowl last night, when I came across a catty-friend.
I thought it was a nice catty-friend, so pawed his head. Then I pawed his head again.
And again. I licked my leg, then got bored. I pawed his head again. Then again.
I couldn't believe it when he swatted me! Then, when I went to run away, he bit me on the back leg, ow! :-(
I was very upset, and my leg really hurt, so decided to run-limp back to daddy.
I couldn't find daddy when I got home so, despite my poorly leg, I decided to hop up to his very high bed. Then I hopped down again and started crying lots, as I was in so much pain, until daddy came and found me on the floor.
I needed to show him that I couldn't put my back paw down, so I got up and leapt back onto the high bed again, then cried a bit more.
Daddy looked very concerned. I saw him put something to his ear and talk to it. I heard him make a noise that sounded like "a hundred and forty pounds just for the emergency consultation??... I don't know if I'm covered'.
Daddy still looked concerned, and I cried a bit more. Then he made another noise, which sounded like 'oh fuck it!'
He picked me up, even though I was getting comfy, and started lowering me into a big grey plastic box thing, backwards. I've been in one of these things before, and nothing good ever happens when I go in, so I squirmed, jumped over daddy's hand, and ran away.
He made a sound 'for fuck's sake!' and chased me round the house.
He picked me up and put me into the plastic box with a bit more force this time, so I didn't run away.
Next thing I know I'm at the catty-doctor's. I don't like these places so I got sweaty paws. The catty-nurse told daddy I was 'very handsome'. She was quite pretty so I nosed her hand a bit. Then I realised I don't have balls any more, and I'm a cat.
My leg started hurting again so I let out a big catty-cry. Daddy and catty-nurse looked worried.
After that, the catty-nurse took me away from daddy, into another room with lots of big white machines. I was sad to leave daddy, and the machines scared me, so I cried again.
Then a catty-doctor put something cold up my catty-bottom and said I was 'normal'.
They put something sharp in one of my front legs and the last thing I remember is hearing daddy say 'four hundred and fifty quid?!'. Then it was morning.
By the time I saw daddy again I'd been put back into the plastic box. For some reason the catty-doctor put a big round thing around my head. I can't see left or right now. I don't understand...
When I got home I walked into a wall. Then I walked into a door. Then I walked into a table. I hope this weird thing comes off of my head soon.
Below is a picture of my poorly leg, and me looking sad in my weird round head-thingy :-(
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