I was having a philosophical moment, while licking my bum this morning, and wondered how and why humans do certain things?
For example, I've never seen daddy pounce on anything, but I have seen him eat things that smell meaty. How does he get his meaty treats?
Why does he eat his food on a high platform, rather than on the floor?
Why does he eat with long, pointy metal things? Surely it's easier to lick chunks of food straight from his bowl.
How do humans judge the width of things without whiskers? Daddy has whiskers, but they all seem to be stuck down, on his face, rather than pointing outwards.
How does he get through doorways, or holes in fences, like this?
How can humans go so long between washing themselves? I know that daddy washes in the morning, and sometimes in the evening, but he doesn't wash in between that. Eugh!
I wash at least once per hour.
Also, why do humans stand under things that spray water? They all have perfectly good tongues to wash themselves with.
I've never seen daddy run up a tree or along the top of a fence? Why not? It's so much fun!
I can't imagine how you can possibly have a fun life if you don't do this.
Do humans bury their poo? I hope so, as it's so embarrasing to have other cats see your poo, but I've never seen a human bury theirs. Where do they put them?
I've never seen a human rub their head against things in their territory. How can they possibly expect to own anything? Surely another human could just claim ownership of the doors, tables, chairs.
I've never seen a human roll around for a belly-rub. A world without belly-rubs is unthinkable! Humans must have belly-rubs at some point, but when?
Why don't humans have claws? I've seen lady-humans with long-ish claws, but they look rubbish for attacking / grabbing things with... and they're all funny, bright colours.
Why don't humans have tails either? I don't know how daddy balances properly without one. Maybe that's why he's always falling over? Also, how can you show excitement or uncertainty without a tail-swish?
Oh, and why do humans walk on only two paws? This looks very uncomfortable. Are their pads not very good, on their upper-paws?
I hope that a catty-friend or a human, reading this, can answer my questions, as I'm very confused...