So, after my late night visit to the catty-doctors I had a tricky couple of days.
The morning after I came home, I woke up feeling like I'd been on the Catnip all night. I think it's all the catty-drugs the catty-doctor gave me.
Feeling a little weird I decided to get up, then go and dribble on daddy for a bit.
After a while I realised I was very hungry, so I called out 'foood! fooood!' and rubbed myself on daddy's legs. This always seems to work.
It was hard getting to my food bowl though, as I still couldn't see properly with that weird thing round my head. It also made it hard to eat. In the end I decided to just stick my whole face into my food and lick my cheeks afterwards.
Not long after eating I needed the toilet so I went to the door-to-outside, sat down, and called daddy to let me out. When he came over, though, he just looked at me and didn't open the door, so I miaowed 'daddy, please can I go outside? Pleeeease let me out, I need a poo'. ...but he still didn't let me out.
I didn't understand, and had to go to poo in a box of small stones in the room, where daddy washes and goes to the toilet as well. I don't like doing this as it's much harder to bury my poo afterwards. Daddy still takes it and puts it in a bag. I wish he didn't do this. I don't like him seeing it.
I still wanted to go outside, as it was sunny, which means there'll be more mice about, but daddy wouldn't let me. I sat by the door-to-outside and miaowed 'daddy, pleeease, pleeease let me go outside. It's sunny and I want to chase mice'.
He didn't open the door. He made a sound like 'it's for your own good'. I didn't know what this meant. I was beginning to think he didn't love me any more :(
As I couldn't go outside, and kept walking into things with my head-thing on, I got very sad and decided to just lie down.
The next day was very much the same, so I got even sadder. I couldn't understand why daddy wouldn't let me out to play. He tried to get me to chase pens, as sometimes they look like skinny mice to me, but I wasn't in the mood.
Then, the next day, after a quick breakfast of rabbit in gravy, daddy suddenly opened the door for me. I was confused at first, so I flicked my tail from side to side. Then I was so happy I ran off to the bottom of the garden, then stopped suddenly and cleaned my paw.
I've been so busy catching up on lost time, outside, that I haven't put my new adventures on here properly. However, excitingly, I have started my very own catty-Twitter profile (@BruceMiaow) and Facebook profile (Bruce Miaow) where I quickly type what I've been up to.
I will have adventures to tell of tomorrow, but for now I have some sunbathing to do. I was covered up yesterday, can you see my white bits?
Bad catty-times :-(
So, there I was, out on the prowl last night, when I came across a catty-friend.
I thought it was a nice catty-friend, so pawed his head. Then I pawed his head again.
And again. I licked my leg, then got bored. I pawed his head again. Then again.
I couldn't believe it when he swatted me! Then, when I went to run away, he bit me on the back leg, ow! :-(
I was very upset, and my leg really hurt, so decided to run-limp back to daddy.
I couldn't find daddy when I got home so, despite my poorly leg, I decided to hop up to his very high bed. Then I hopped down again and started crying lots, as I was in so much pain, until daddy came and found me on the floor.
I needed to show him that I couldn't put my back paw down, so I got up and leapt back onto the high bed again, then cried a bit more.
Daddy looked very concerned. I saw him put something to his ear and talk to it. I heard him make a noise that sounded like "a hundred and forty pounds just for the emergency consultation??... I don't know if I'm covered'.
Daddy still looked concerned, and I cried a bit more. Then he made another noise, which sounded like 'oh fuck it!'
He picked me up, even though I was getting comfy, and started lowering me into a big grey plastic box thing, backwards. I've been in one of these things before, and nothing good ever happens when I go in, so I squirmed, jumped over daddy's hand, and ran away.
He made a sound 'for fuck's sake!' and chased me round the house.
He picked me up and put me into the plastic box with a bit more force this time, so I didn't run away.
Next thing I know I'm at the catty-doctor's. I don't like these places so I got sweaty paws. The catty-nurse told daddy I was 'very handsome'. She was quite pretty so I nosed her hand a bit. Then I realised I don't have balls any more, and I'm a cat.
My leg started hurting again so I let out a big catty-cry. Daddy and catty-nurse looked worried.
After that, the catty-nurse took me away from daddy, into another room with lots of big white machines. I was sad to leave daddy, and the machines scared me, so I cried again.
Then a catty-doctor put something cold up my catty-bottom and said I was 'normal'.
They put something sharp in one of my front legs and the last thing I remember is hearing daddy say 'four hundred and fifty quid?!'. Then it was morning.
By the time I saw daddy again I'd been put back into the plastic box. For some reason the catty-doctor put a big round thing around my head. I can't see left or right now. I don't understand...
When I got home I walked into a wall. Then I walked into a door. Then I walked into a table. I hope this weird thing comes off of my head soon.
Below is a picture of my poorly leg, and me looking sad in my weird round head-thingy :-(
This is almost as exciting as the time I thought I'd caught a Crow, but it was actually a bin liner!
Daddy gets fed up of me lying across his laptop, so often gives up on his work and goes into another room.
What he doesn't know is that I can type. That's why I've started my very own catty-blog. Maybe there are other cats out there who will follow me!
I got so excited about starting this blog that I chased a moth around the room.
When Daddy came back in I did a little catty-sick on the floor. I sniffed it, but it couldn't be eaten again. Then I looked at Daddy, miaowed at him to scoop it up, and licked my paw.
Luckily it's wooden floor.
After that I wandered outside to chase some more moths.
Here is a picture of a moth.
