I was sitting by a puddle, with Pumpkin, last night and we were a bit bored.
As we were talking, she asked me about the 'big garden', and if I'd ever heard of it?
I had. It's not far from our territories, but no cat has ever been brave enough to go there.
However, we have heard rumours of strange creatures roaming this place; fluffly white things that look like clouds, and really tall animals with long faces and huge hairy tails.
How could this all be true though, if not cat had ever been there?
Pumpkin then started walking off, so I asked her where she was going? She said she was going to the 'big garden' as it couldn't possibly be that scary, and it was ridiculous that no cat had ever been.
I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen......Moth!......... sorry, she wouldn't listen so I told her I'd have to go with her, she couldn't go on her own. I told her to wait a minute though...
I decided I had to go and see daddy before I went, just in case something bad happened to me in the 'big garden'. I wanted to bring him a mouse, but couldn't find one. Instead, I miaowed to be let in, rubbed against his legs, then miaowed to be let back out again.
Daddy made a noise like; 'but you've only just come in, you mad cat!'
After that I walked, with Pumpkin, out of our territories, towards the end of our road, heading for the 'big garden'.
We arrived at the edge of it. It was surrounded by big prickly hedges and was very dark.
We dropped down into a big dip, and crouched down to slip under the hedge. Our little catty-noses and ears were twitching.
We came through the hedge and ..................yawwwwwwwwwwwn!...I'm so tired again. I keep needing naps. I think it's the cold....I'll have to tell you the rest later..... hope you can wait...
I don't know if humans believe in something similar, but myself and a lot of catty-friends believe that when we die that's not the end of things.
There is, so far as we know, a great scratching post in the sky. It is so big that every cat that goes there, after death, has their own part to scratch at and rub their head on.
It never wears out and it smells of all of the cats there, always.
In this place, you never get picked up and moved, mid-nap, by humans. However, a giant human-paw reaches down, regularly, to give belly-rubs to any cats nearby.
There are huge mountains made of catty-biscuits and rivers of beef, chicken, rabbit, duck, and tuna, in gravy.
The floor is all soft, wherever you go, so that anywhere is a good place to lie down. Some parts of this floor are heated, so you get an unexpected treat and can curl up.
Trees grow, endlessly upwards, and cats can float down from them, so you can climb as high as you like and not worry.
There is an endless supply of mice and birds. All you have to do is raise a paw, and more will arrive.
Somtimes we offer up quiet catty-words to this place, so that we may have a better time when we get there.
I often say;
Miaow Miaoww Miaow.
Miaow Miaow Miaowww Miaow.
Miaow Miaow Miaow
Miaowwww Miaow Miaoww.
I do love my catty-life here, but am happy with the thought of the catty-life beyond.
Daddy was a bit poorly yesterday, so I was a good cat and curled up next to him to keep myself warm.
Occasionally I purred, or dribbled on him, to comfort him and, more importantly, to signal when I was hungry / needed attention.
See, I'm a caring cat.
Anyway, now that I've been outside today I've noticed that it's a lot colder than it has been, particularly on my little catty-nose and the tips of my ears.
I'm not too worried as I have plenty of places to hide outdoors, and snuggle up to Fluffles.
I am worried about one thing though; the white stuff.
The white stuff has arrived on both winters of my little catty-life so far. It falls from the sky then sticks to the trees and the ground. Sometimes lots of it sticks to the ground.
It's confusing stuff. It's very cold, particularly on my little paws, so I have to walk across it quite quickly.
Also, I can't tell -until I jump into it- how high up my body it will be. Sometimes it's up to my little catty-willy, ouch! I suppose it's the one time I'm thankful that I don't have balls any more.
It doesn't taste too bad, but I worry about what's underneath it. What if I put my paw into something disgusting, or if a nasty fox is hiding under it?
One major problem is that it makes pouncing difficult. I can see magpies and pigeons much more easily on the white stuff, but they can also see me, instantly, as I'm a black cat (it's good luck if I cross your path, as I'm so cute :) ).
I also leave a trail of paw prints in the white stuff, so birds (there's less squirrels and mice about when it's cold) know there's a cat in that territory :(
It is quite funny if you can hide under it, however -apart from the cold catty-willy- as you can play-pounce on friends. I did it to Pumpkin last year, and she jumped over two fences in fright. Lulu then did it to me, and I ran into a bush. This wasn't so funny.
I do wonder what this stuff is? I don't know if I'll ever find out.
I do actually hope that it falls again this year. The pouncing problems aren't that bad as daddy feeds me anyway, and the white stuff makes winter a little more interesting.
I'll have to wait and see....
After asking Fluffles to bring me some of this 'Sheba' to try, I quite fancied trying other catty-foods too.
I asked Steve, Lulu, Pumpkin, Tinkerbell, and their friends to bring me their own food.
I asked them to make sure that the packets were bitten / slightly open, as I struggle to open my own (that's what daddy is for).
I want cats out there to have the best catty-food experience, so I have decided to type up my findings, having tasted everything brought to me.
I have used a catty-paw rating system, with 4 paws being the best, 1 paw being....erm, poor.
Humans, please note; the views here are my own, but I am not responsible for any catty-sick on your floor (from feeding food your cat doesn't like), nor am I responsible if a whole bowlful is wasted;
Sheba, Turkey in gravy- A good sized portion (the packet said 100g. I'm not sure what 'g' is but I know 100 is big), with decent Turkey content, although the Turkey was more of a paste than chunks. The gravy was tasty, but a bit too creamy for my liking, more of a catty-soup. It had a long poultry finish, and still tasted good when retrieved from my whiskers.
Purina Gourmet (Perle), Lamb in gravy- I'm completely biased on this as it's my favouritest catty-food, yum! catty-sized chunks of tender lamb, enveloped in a silky brown gravy ,with just the right runnyness (I think I have seen daddy with similar gravy on his food). It has a complex meaty finish and is the perfect accompaniment to chicken biscuits.
Whiskas, Duck in gravy with green peas- I've had something out of a Whiskas pack before and it was okay, but I still prefer my Purina. I was pleasantly surprised by this catty-food at first. It had a pleasant ducky aroma and the gravy wasn't too thick. Upon the first lick I wasn't as impressed. There is a healthy amount of duck for my little catty-tum, but it was a little tough. The gravy was rich, but... it contained peas. When have cats ever gone out and hunted down peas? Grass, maybe (if I need to do a catty-sick), but peas? Very strange.
A heavy dish that stuck nicely to the inside of my cheeks, though.
Felix, Tuna in jelly- Aaaah, this brings back catty-memories! I had Felix as a kitten, for a bit. I'm more of a gravy cat, than a jelly one, so I had to take that into consideration.
Underneath the jelly, the tuna was delicate and fragrant, and not too mushy.
Even the jelly wasn't too bad, not too wibbly and it retained some of the tuna flavour.
Tesco 'Claude' chunks in gravy, with beef- Bleurgh! Who passed this as fit for catty-consumption? I wouldn't even give this to a dog. I've brought up better tasting furballs.
I think the giveaway should've been that the packet said 'chunks in gravy with beef'
rather than 'chunks of beef in gravy'.
The odd-smelling bits of meat were condemned to a watery-gravy grave and had an aftertaste of hedgehog's bums.
I managed two chunks of beef, then had to drink a whole bowl of water and lie down for a bit.
Iams, Chicken in gravy- mmmm *lick of the cheeks*, not bad. Not bad at all! Light chunks of well-seasoned chicken in a velvety, golden gravy. It actually felt like it was doing me good as it went down too! The gravy had a soft, almost fruity, nose, and the chicken was most tender. I must admit that I 'cleaned' my paws straight after eating this, so that they would taste of chicken when I went to clean them again later.
Oooh, I'm quite full up now and need to do catty-burps, and nap.
Let me know if you agree with my findings or not, and if there are any other foods I should try.
*Please note, the picture below is a dramatic re-enactment.
Sorry, cats and humans, I napped all day yesterday so didn't type anything on here.
Does anyone else find that they suddenly need to nap more at this time of year?
After my long nap I needed to stretch my little catty-legs, so I went outside, and who should be there? Fluffles!
I was very happy. We both purred and rubbed noses, then she rubbed her head on my side.
I was going to do the same back, but a spider ran in front of me so I had to swat it.
I gave the spider to Fluffles, to eat, but she said she'd just had her 'Sheba' so wasn't hungry.
I didn't know what Sheba was so I asked Fluffles. She said it's a catty-food.
I didn't remember seeing that when I went on my adventure to 'Sainsbury's', so I have asked Fluffles to bring me some. She purred and said she would.
Anyway, we walked to the end of my territory, side by side, with the tips of our tails touching.
I have seen humans hold each others paws. I think this is the same as touching tails.
Us cats can't hold each others paw as we wouldn't be able to walk properly.
We stopped by my favourite puddle to get a drink, then we jumped onto the roof of the little, wooden room at the end of Fluffles' territory.
We sat and watched the moon together, and swatted the occasional passing moth.
When Fluffles got a bit tired, as she was not longer in hunt-mode, I walked her back home so she could go in for a nap.
We rubbed noses again, then I went back and woke up daddy for some attention.
I'll have to type this quietly as I'm just crouched under some bushes, watching a Magpie.
It keeps coming nearer then hopping away again. It even got close enough for me to start doing pre-pounce bum-wiggles. Very annoying.
Anyway, I suddenly had a memory from when I was a kitten, this morning.
It's a bit of a mystery, so I don't know if any catty-friends or humans can help me out with it.
I was in a room, and in the corner was -weirdly- a tree, the type of tree you would normally see outside. I wondered why daddy had put a tree indoors.
Even weirder than that, though, was that it had small, bright lights all around it. It also had, what looked like, millions of catty-toys dangling from it's branches.
Daddy went out and I got a bit bored (it was too cold to be out all the time), so started to play with supposed catty-toys on the lower branches. They kept falling off, so I played with a new one each time this happened.
Then I was sure I saw a Squirrel in the tree so I did a big bum-wiggle and pounced on the tree.
It did something no tree has ever done to me, outside, it fell over. The catty-toys went everywhere. I was so confused that I ran, and hid under a the sofa.
When daddy came in, he seemed very angry and was talking very loudly at me. I didn't understand; Why did daddy have a tree indoors? Why did it have catty-toys and lights all over it? Why did it fall over? Why was daddy angry?
I decided that the best thing to do was to purr and rub myself against daddy's legs.
He said me name 'oh Bruce!' then gave me a chin-tickle, so I think he stopped being angry.
I'm still confused by this catty-memory though, can anyone help by explaining it a bit?
Catty-thanks.
So, after an all day nap yesterday, I started to remember what Steve and I had been up to on Wednesday night.
We met by my back fence as it started to get dark -catty o'clock- and had a daddy-long legs 'swat-off'. I got 14 and he got 11, so I won. Happy catty-days!
Steve then said we should have a race up two Pine trees in his territory. I don't know why he said this as he's rubbish at climbing trees.
I got up to the 7th branch on mine, and he only got up to the 6th... then couldn't get down.
It was really funny, as he started calling for his mummy, miaowing away.
I told him not to be silly as, both humans and cats know, we always land on our feet.
In the end he half-ran half-jumped down the tree and -sort of- landed okay.
After this we had a catty-staring competition, but Steve forgot we were having a game and pounced on me, so I swatted his head.
At this point we started to get bored. That's when Steve said he had an idea. Every now and then his mummy gives him a bit of Catnip, as a treat. However, Steve knew where she kept the whole, big box of it.
In catty-stealth mode, he sneaked inside and came back out with it. We then ran away to sit under the trees, where we couldn't be seen.
Steve went catty-crazy and started biting chunks out of the box, to get at the Catnip inside. He then ripped through a plastic thing, and Catnip poured out everywhere.
The smell hit us straight away; catty-drugs!!
We both fell into the pile and started rolling around like mad.
Steve thought his Paws were Mice and started biting them!
I suddenly got the feeling that I could lick my ears, and kept trying to reach them with my tongue! It was quite funny now I think of it.
Steve then started talking absolute catty-nonsense! He said that 'miaow miaow miaowwww miaow miaoww miaow' (??)
After that it all got a bit hazy.... I know that I had lots of those little green balls stuck in my fur, from pouncing on a plant that I thought was a Rabbit.
Steve woke up with a grey head, but this was from some weird dust in a 'bukit'. He'd ran into a small wooden room, at the end of a garden, and come out with the 'bukit' on his head, saying that he was a 'catty-emperor'.
I remember the spider-eating incident, mentioned yesterday.
I also remember licking the coating off a fence as it 'reminded me of being a kitten'...although I'm not sure how it did this...
Anyway. I slept all day yesterday, so have recovered a bit, and today I am just doing a bit of light prowling. Hopefully I'll feel back to normal by tomorrow!
