It's horrible outside, with really fine rain that makes my coat go all silvery.
I was sat on a wall, with my ears flat down and my miserable face on, so I decided to come back in.
The only problem with this is that I seem to have lots of catty-energy today.
I have decided to use this by looking under things, to see what I can find, and chasing imaginary mice.
Chasing imaginary mice confuses daddy, and he often makes a sound like 'why are you charging around the house like a nutter...'. He clearly has no imagination.
Looking under things has also proved lots of fun. So far, I have pawed out three pens, then chased them until I lost them under something else.
I have also found two spiders, both of which were very tasty (they seem to have a richer flavour at this time of year).
In addition, I have found; a long piece of string, a shiny, flat, silver thing, a leaf, and a catty-biscuit (yum!).
It seems like coming inside was the right decision.
I would like some attention now though, so I am going to dribble on daddy.
Can anyone (cat or human) help with some catty-confusion and concussion please?
Lulu, Pumpkin and I have all been caught out by an evil tree in the last few days.
Every time one of us has been sat near / under it, a spiky green ball has fallen and hit our heads.
This hurts very much and makes us do dazed catty head-shakes. Pumpkin managed to claw one open and it had a weird, solid, brown lump inside of it. She said she bit it, but it didn't taste very nice.
We are worried that these brown lumps might turn into strange creatures though. We also think that the tree is evil and is trying to hurt our heads on purpose.
What have we done wrong to this tree?
While I think about this I am going to go out and chase some leaves.
When I come back, I hope that someone has the answers to our questions...
*evil
I'm not a happy catty right now. Very upset with Steve. I don't think I'll be talking to him for quite some time.
We were just having a chat about the new cats coming into our area, when Steve said he didn't like the number of Siamese who had arrived.
I asked him what he meant and he said he didn't like that way they came in, taking all the Sparrows from ordinary hard-chasing Tabbies.
Then he said that all Siamese are the same anyway. He thinks they're sly.
I told him that I really didn't like this view, particularly as I'm part Siamese.
He said 'yeah, but you're alright though'.
I told him what he said was offensive and breedist, but he didn't seem bothered.
I said that I'm not speaking to him until he apologises and changes his catitude,
then wandered off (this was partly as I was hungry too).
It's a bit cold and miserable outside so I have decided to spend most of today curled up asleep-ish.
However, I wanted to be able to watch my territory too, so picked the sofa by the window on which to curl up.
In between naps, tail flicks, and occasional stretches, I have seen;
-three Magpies, two of which made me chatter.
-daddy give me a nice scratch behind the ears, and a chin tickle.
-daddy drop lots of things and make the sound 'shit'.
-a squirrel, which made me open my eyes a bit, but nothing more.
-Some rain.
-lots of leaves swirling around, on the floor.
-A shoelace that daddy wanted me to play with.
-A bowl of tuna that daddy was silly enough to leave near me.
....and that's about it.
Think I'll have another nap now....
I'm not one to boast, but... well... I am cute.
This didn't come naturally to me; my first mummy and daddy didn't want me, so took me to a place where they put me in a little room :(
Thankfully there were lots of other cats there, and we made friends through the bars.
I worked on my cuteness and this is how I found a new home.
If you want to stay with your humans, and wind them round your little catty-paws, I recommend following a few simple guidelines to cuteness;
-If you have done something wrong, never admit to it. Simply lower your head and look a bit sad, or give your human(s) multiple catty leg-rubs (don't forget to purr too).
-If your human(s) enter a room where you are sleeping, you can do one of the following;
1. Roll over so that your belly is showing, indicating 'belly rub please'. Be careful not to claw your humans.
2. Cover your eyes with a paw, to say 'sorry, I'm trying to sleep and look cute'.
-When you're human calls you for food, always run towards them and miaow. This looks like you are happy too see them, rather than just showing that you are hungry.
-I know that human-kittens can be strange, but try to get on with them as humans don't seem to like cats that can't do this. If you want to go for super-cuteness, curl up next to human-kittens when they are sleeping.
Humans think this is you showing affection when, really, you are there as the human-kitten is warm.
-As often as possible, even when you are not in hunt mode, try to play along when humans wave string or toys in front of you. They like this.
That's about it, although if any cats have other tips then please let me know.
Good luck being cute.
I wish daddy wouldn't tickle my little catty-nose when I'm sleeping. It makes my paws twitch.
I was happy that he woke me up earlier though (as I signalled by stretching out my legs), because I was having the weirdest catty-dream;
I was in a garden, but the grass was blue and the sky was green. I was sitting, and when I tried to move I couldn't. I wasn't too worried, so thought I'd clean myself, but every part of fur I licked tasted of fish. Even stranger, different parts tasted of different fish. My paws tasted of tuna, and my bib tasted of salmon.
I could see Lulu and Pumpkin in the distance, but they couldn't hear me when I called them...and their ears were now on their little catty-chins!
Then the grass started tilting heavily left and right. There was sound, like a screaming fox, and all of the leaves in front of me came to life, as mice, running in all directions.
Suddenly I was able to move again, but even quicker than usual. I had super catty-powers!
I was pouncing on mice all over the place, but as soon as I had one in my paws it would slip through and float upwards to the green sky; tail pointing down, head pointing up.
I looked up and there were catty-millions of mice flying upwards, saying 'eeeeeeh!'.
I looked over at Lulu and Pumkin and their eyes had gone purple. They both said 'baaa' then ran off in opposite directions....
this is when daddy woke me up.
I'm very confused. What can this mean?
So where was I up to, yesterday, then? Oh yes, so Pumpkin and I crouched down and slid under the hedge, coming out the other side, into the 'big garden'.
It was wonderous and spooky sight. It was indeed the biggest garden either of us had ever been in.
Our tails swished with excitement, and Pumpkin's little catty-nose wiggled as she sniffed the air.
The grass stretched out for catty-miles, and there were big dips and falls in it. There were trees in the middle of the grass too. In one corner was something really strange; an area with a wooden fence all around it, in a sort of square. It wasn't a completely solid fence, it had bars of wood going across, and you could see between them.
We still don't know what it was.
We slowly padded further into the field, sniffing the air carefully as we went.
All of a sudden we heard a noise, over to our left, from behind a tree. We crept towards it, again, low to the ground.
As we got there, two huge, strange animals came into view. These were some of the creatures that had been talked about. They were incredibly tall, with shiny coats, and four long legs, but they didn't have paws. Weirdly, their legs ended in these hard flat things.
Their heads were really long and they had big nose holes. At the bum they did have a tail, but it was nothing like a catty-tail; it was much bigger, and made up of catty-millions of individual hairs. It didn't look like it could go up, either, when they were in food-mode.
As we crept round them, they looked really nervous. We would have given them a catty leg-rub, but they looked like they might tread on us.
We tried to talk to them, but they only huffed, puffed, and snorted back, so we didn't really understand them.
Now that we'd seen one lot of strange creatures, we decided there might be more, so we wandered off.
We saw a huge wooden room, like the one my daddy has at the end of my garden but much bigger. We decided to head towards it.
We were nearly there when, out of the dark, a rabbit shot past us!
Pumpkin started saying something, but I was just thinking 'rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit'.
We chased it. I ran in from the right, Pumpkin ran in from the left, but it was really fast and changed direction suddenly. As it did this, Pumpkin ran into me, and the rabbit got away.
Oh well, it would have been a nice treat, but nevermind.
We kept going, towards the big wooden room, and finally reached it. When we got there, the doors where shut, but there was a gap underneath them that we managed to squeeze through.
When we got inside, it was really dark (and smelt funny), so our eyes had to adjust.
When they did, we saw a bizarre scene around us; catty-millions of white fluffy animals, behind wooden bars.
So, what we'd heard was true. These animals looked exactly like clouds, on legs. Maybe clouds do have legs, and fall to the ground?
They looked so warm, too, just like you could snuggle up next to them and fall asleep (much more fluffy than daddy).
We tried to sniff some of them, and touch noses, but they started moving backwards. They made a very strange noise 'baaa, baaaa'. We didn't understand their language either, just like the long-faced animals. We did try to talk back to them, but the more we did this, the more they kept saying 'baaa, baaaa'.
Suddenly, a light came on and we heard a human voice 'hello, who's there?'
This really scared us, so we ran for our lives. Behind us we heard 'bloody cats'.
We ran so fast that I don't even remember crawling back under the hedge, or any of the journey home.
I do remember giving Pumpkin a quick nose-rub goodbye, then jumping through the window and curling up next to daddy.
Then I slept for catty-hours...
*What is this?
